insights from a daughter of the King, teacher, farmer's wife, and Mommy

1.18.2016

entitlement...it's a problem

"But mommy, {insert name} has beats and a PSP 4."
"I wish I had new shoes."
"I want that."  "I want that."  "I want that."

These words echo through my house.  Familiar?

Entitlement is a problem.  Going way back from the beginning.  We humans we want things we don't have.  We want things others have.  We look around and compare.  Guilty?  Me too.  



And then our children learn what they see us live.  If we talk about what others have and how we wished we had.  And one day we will have this and that.  But we don't talk about how we work and how we spend and how we save.  If we don't show them how to give and how to serve.  

Will they learn this?  Giving, serving, saving, working

What will our children ever learn, if we don't live it?

This poem hung in my house as a child and I never got it until much later in life.  


Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.



Let me add

If children live with gratitude, they learn not to be entitled.


So, I have been honored to be part of a launch team for Kristen Welsh's new Book 

Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World: How One Family Learned That Saying No Can Lead to Life's Biggest Yes


and I have found another mom who is living this struggle just like me.  She tells her story and failures and her accomplishments.  It has practical solutions and Godly advice. You will cry, you will nod your head and scream yes, and you will feel conviction.   Because let's face it, its not just our kids problem, it's our problem.  

How are you combating entitlement?









4 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing that poem- so true! Modeling gratitude is our greatest tool in teaching our children to be grateful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this poem - and you're so right - chasing away entitlement starts with us as parents! Thanks so much for sharing :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS BOOK. BOUGHT MY COPY TODAY! THANK YOU!!!

    ReplyDelete

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24 Leave me some honey.

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