write

i didn't write.
i didn't write one thing in 2019.
some facebook posts.
some encouraging texts.
a lot of one word answers.
but i didn't write.

i walked around in a gray cloud most of the year.

march
a storm came that i wasn't prepared for.
i held crying kids in the hallway.
my teammate
my friend
we cried
in the classroom floor.
in the library.
we shattered

may
my best friend's dad
my first basketball coach
my $5 for a charge encourager
grief

june
a church leader
owen's sunday school teacher
we went to visit him a few weeks before he lost his fight and he prayed for us.
he told owen and i how proud he was of us.
loss

august
my mom's best friend
the maker of all addie's bows
my fellow christmas lover
music encourager for children
a smile and a hug every time
sadness

august
granaw
my comforter on earth
my go to for advice, food, money - all the things
my best memory maker
i held crying kids
i wasn't ready
i'm still not ready
deep deep sorrow

the fog of grief is consuming
and every time i moved towards the light
the fog consumed

but God

He is good
He is preparing a way
He is increasing my cloud of witnesses
He is.

write.
keep moving toward the light.