it started with a feeling, an unknown sense i never knew
it was confirmed in an infirmary with the question "what are you going to do"
it was affirmed on the stairs with empty promises and "your going to to be a great mom"
it lead to three months silence and bigger clothes and endless tears
it turned to a he that kicked me
he came on an icy, painful december night
he came with a terrified mother who's heart was heartbroken but everything about him healed her
my mom drove us home from the hospital
i cried all the way
i remember rocking him in the recliner late in the night wondering how we would make it
i remember sitting in the wic office embarrassed, ashamed
i remember saying "no there's just me, no husband"
i never had a companion to share my worries
no one ever called to ask about him
but he smiled, he laughed, he grew
he never questioned
he was loved
he taught me to pray and to pray without ceasing
he is my blessing
he brought me to me knees so that He could heal me
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17